Hm, What did I learn?

What have you learned from it all?

I’ve learned to be brave, relentless, and attentive.  These are not inspired attributes, but rather mandatory evolutions, necessary for survival, in high school but more specifically in life. I have learned that the pursuit of being your best is far more advantageous than the pursuit of being the best. These four years have been the longest four years of my natural born life to date, and the most influential. I have come to know that the experience is about finding yourself, growing that self, and preserving that self when the villainous agents of conformity fight to distort and reduce the new-found brilliance that is still so unfamiliar. The only way to truly survive, or to efficiently maintain the essence of you, is to thrive, to shine among the dull and those who consistently radiate. I have trained extensively in the art of perseverance.  I have learned of the strength it takes to keep fighting valiantly for your Personal Legend with dignity, grace, and tact.

Here, I discovered the innumerable possibilities. The fictitious limits that existed only in my mind no longer have control. I have seen my power, and have learned to harness it. I have learned that the only person who can stop me is me. I have discovered my hidden talents, and hidden desires, and I am dangerous.   At some point along this journey at Fort Lauderdale High School, a spark was lit in my soul. A fire burns deep in me that no fear, no worry, no pang of discomfort, or guilt has ever been or will ever be strong enough to extinguish. I have learned that I truly am a force to be reckoned with, a force that can accomplish the impossible, a force destined for greatness of the highest caliber. I have learned that I can do it; I can be my ultimate self, and that self will be one of the world’s greatest contributions.

 More importantly, I have learned to recognize that potential in others.  I am grateful for the wise people that recognized that potential in me and have made countless sacrifices as they leverage their time, knowledge, and prudence to help me find the young woman that hid underneath all the layers of insecurity. When I can’t seem to find it in me to keep fighting for me, I will fight for them. I learned that I owe it to them to be great, to confirm their resolute belief in me, my ability, and my destiny.  I learned that I matter; that we all matter.

On my first day of school, four years ago, I intended to bring to Fort Lauderdale High what it had never seen before. I was going to be different, new, unique, special. They were going to notice. I was going to make everyone notice. My parents were blind. My friends were blind. The teachers were blind, and I was determined to make them all notice. I learned that I was the one who needed to pay more attention. I needed to wake up.  I needed to notice what was really important, and relevant. I needed to learn, to think, and Fort Lauderdale High School and its brilliant educators taught me.

Hopeless Romantic.

I've seen you before
A thousand times
Standing across from me
In that dimensionless room
in my mind.

I've seen you before
A thousand times
In the seems of my dreams
As I burst with my screams
of excitement
It's you, and I'm here
until you disappear, as I wake

I've seen you before
A thousand times
In my premonitions of finally
In my pleasant hallucinations
My mental oasis
The distorted reality of you
Being next to me
Holding me
Enveloping
Everything
until I couldn't find much of me
in all of you
I was submersed
Plunged into all of that oneness
 But still there was the distinction: the you
And an unfamiliar newness
that belonged to me
for the most part.

I've seen you before
A thousand times
In the irises of my eyes
In the verses of the Bible
the verses about love
about leaders
about patience
In the lyrics of the love songs
In Psalms
the lyrics of my heart beat

I've seen you before
A thousand times
which is why I get so upset when I confuse you
with everything that's not you
the myriad of carbon copies
the mannequins
the puzzle pieces that can't fit
I recognize the untruths
but I'm feening
for the feeling
That is you
So I submit to the phony
It seems to be the only
The only way to taste something concrete
But it's not sweet
The bland,
carnally altered
artificiality
that I hopelessly wished to be you knowing that it wasn't
is tasteless
but I still attempt to
enhance it with my
imagination
"It's infatuation"
But it's hopeless
So I'm back to the drawing board
It sounds ridiculous
since I'm blind
but boy I've seen you before
... in my mind.

And now I'm forced to tranquilize this anxiety
and wait for you to find me
Because I can feel the you that's inside me
But beside me
I see no one.
Behind me
I see no one.
Well, a bunch of cold someones that just aren't
you

Aren't you
wondering where I am?
I can't imagine that you too are blind also
God's not cynical, so you must be lost
so I pray you find your way

I've seen you before
A thousand times
Plus a thousand more
And the tenacity of my memory won't let me forget
So I'll dance with you
In that dimensionless room of my mind
as I hopelessly wait for my dreams to come true
In that dimensionless room known as time.

Hi, My name is Gabbie, and I'm insecure.

To say the least, my summer did not turn out how I expected it to. In my mind, I drafted this undeniably amazing Summer bucket list ( all the things I wanted to do before Summer kicked the bucket). Reality seems to have taken my list, and burned it, because I have spent my "104 days of summer vacation"  in my house, roaming around the realms of monotony. I've listened to the same songs. I've stared at the same tv, watching the same episodes, of the same shows. I'm on the brink of insanity. The peak of my day would have to be my daily phone calls. Yes, I am officially that lunatic that lives vicariously, through her friends. However, as I plummeted further and further into my sorrowful solitude, I decided to change my perspective. In my loneliness, I got to spend a lot of time with myself. I've recognized my problem areas, my strengths, my desires. This has enabled me to efficiently progress, as I help others do the same. I've really had the chance to get to know me, and through this intricate interaction, I have learned a lot about human nature. Perspective my friends is the most powerful tool in life.

Ladies and gentlemen, I will proceed to share with you a few of my revelations.
First, here's some context:

Problem Area Number One: I'm insecure.
Desire Number One: I want to be a leader.
Problem Area Number Two: I'm worried because leaders can't be insecure.
Strength Number One: I overthink every problem until I have found the solution, and if I can't, I cheat and google it.
 Strength Number Two: I give great advice to my friends.
Strength Number Three: I'm a great friend.
Problem Area Number Three: I am not my friend.
Desire Number Two: I want to be my friend.
Desire Number Three: I want to be more confident.


I decided that the source of my primary problem was insecurity. To defeat the enemy, you must know the enemy. In the past few weeks, I decided to declare war on insecurity.

Through my research, I learned that Insecurity is actually a weak villain. It doesn't have magical powers at all. It's just deceptive. It tricks you into fighting yourself. See, insecurity gets you to believe that you would be happier being someone else, whether that person is literally someone else, or a different version of yourself (an older you or a younger you) I've come to know that, that's a lie. You wouldn't be happier being Mary, because Mary has her own issues, and it would be futile to deal with Mary's issues because you would learn from them only what Mary needs to know. Mary's issues wouldn't help you become stronger, plus Mary's likes and passions would feel foreign to you, and you would eventually grow tired in your attempt to suppress all your desires. You sure as heck wouldn't be happier being your former self, no matter how great your past was, because even back then you had problems. You lacked the knowledge, insight, and wisdom to avoid the mistakes you made back then. Moreover,  if you were happier back then, it's because you're not making the decision to be happy now. You're going to be evicted out of today whether you want to be or not. Moreover, you also wouldn't be happier as You 2.0 because if you're waiting to be happy, you never will be. See, happiness is a decision. Your circumstances can only impact roughly 10% of your happiness. The other 90% is a result of your own attitude, logic, and behavior. (I got the statistic from this tv church broadcast I was watching with my mom)

I always tell my friends that perspective is the most important weapon you have in this world. If you strengthen your mind's eye, and find new ways to love, you will be unstoppable. However, I failed to apply my motto to my situation, because I wasn't being a good friend to me.

See, weapons are used to fight, to protect. If you want to protect yourself, your self esteem, you really have to fight to protect your happiness. I used to try to protect myself, and my happiness, by putting other people down, whether out loud, or in my head, but that doesn't help you rise at all. All you have to do is change your perspective. Your vision determines your luminescence. I can't lie. Shifting your perspective is by no means easy all the time. If you need some visual assistance, try counting your blessings, use your imagination, empathize, and I guarantee you, your perspective will change immediately.

We have to remember to take it one step further. We can't just limit ourselves to thought. Like President Thomas Edison  said,"Vision without execution is hallucination." Thought without action is just a wish restrained. Pass it on. Make it relevant. If you've grown from your perspective shift, help someone else, and make sure that your actions illustrate your growth.

Life is all about progression. If you have a problem, find the solution. If you're feeling down, try to rise. If you're up, help someone else. Always, keep it moving.

Trickiest part is getting up after backsliding. I can feel all this optimistic enlightenment today, and tomorrow wake up feeling like I got hit in the face with a bag of nickels. That's why it's important to have good friends, and to be a good friend to yourself. Forgive yourself. Encourage yourself. Don't play the blame game.  Insecurity is an oppressor that you can easily liberate yourself from, once he is recognized, and happiness is a decision that you have the volition to make.

Keep it moving.

Lost Boys

From a family of farmers
I came to plant a seed
My realness , my voice
inherited by those of my breed
I love my fellow man
but they are lost in deep sleep
They're waiting to climb
& the mountain only gets steep
I cry for my men ,
the ones that are hav'n fun & brag'n
then
I try for my men ,
feels likee I'm drag'n 'em
But the minute I let go ,
it's likee their back to slackin and
I wanna ket 'em kno
their essence of life is lackin some
It's not about waking up
& see'n how much yu stack'n son
It's about appreciating
all that life has packed in a
short little journey
that you haven't even finished yet
Not about making lists of
all the girls yu got swimmers wet
if yu smiled
it wasn't funny
no pun , no joke
Sometimes days aren't always sunny
no fun , just smoke
They say weed is the answer
They love the Mary Jane
But weed only comes in handy
Designed to numb the pain
He said I'm pointing fingers
That I never look to self
But realize I'm genetically
endowed w/ mental wealth
Unlike the other girls
I can function without the stealth
My agendas in the open
Immune to every pelt
I've learned I can't force
despite my wholesome intent
A lost boy is someone's
comrade , a brother
my friend
So I leave it up to prayer
Hope the message gets sent
I pray one day
all the lost boys become men .

I'm Not Lonely

See , i'm not lonely anymore
so you don't have to worry
since yu left ,
these tears have kept me company
the same tears that kept my face warm
when not even three pillows could block the shouts
when the glasses shattered
& the police sirens kept me from sleeping
see ive made friends with silence
she gave me the quiet to write
& now im dreaming
i'm growing daddy , i wish yu could see .
not into the big girl yu wanted
but a woman
i saw my mind for the first time & it's beautiful
i started living in this world daddy .
i met voice too
& she keeps me so strong
i know yu won't be proud but i am
one of the things she taught me
she introduced me to myself
so i'll never be lonely again .

James 4:14

We are challenged to look beyond death .
For the breaths that we take are beyond stretched .
We consist in the midst without really seizing .
The moments .
And when we cease to exist .
We're not really leaving .
but transforming .
Depart the world when your existence matters .
When the good you've done outweighs the latter .
Time well spent gives birth to legacies .
Monuments of influential energy .
Relevance births immortality
Creative entities thriving endlessly .
Find your cause in life .
Your power.
Your purpose.
Your answer to life's question
Was it all worth it ?

Jones, is it?

Social stratification is the societal structure based primarily on a hierachy characterized by their rewards and lifestyle. The dimensions include age, class, gender, race, and. Social stratification is alive and thriving today as well as the existing inequality within the divisions. The primary division is that of economic status. However, it is much harder to identify the classes than it was in the earlier epochs of time.

We like to believe that we remain unbiased, impartial, and compassionate when assessing a stranger. We like to lbelieve that class doesn't matter; that we treat everyone the same. This is an inaccurate judgement of character. As individuals we constantly equate certain characteristics of the people we meet with other ideals. For example, if we were to come in contact with a 45 year old in a Publix uniform we may automatically assume that they are poor, struggling, void of retirement money. It would be hard for us to concieve the idea of that same senior citizen as a cultured cavalier. The body language, and possessions of a person also communicate certain messages. Sociologist Harold Garfinkel believed that we wear what we support.

The clouded levels of society occur primarily in Western civilizations. Take for instance the Asian countries, the remnance of the Indian caste system still linger in their society today. The rich have remained rich despite their dwindling economy. While the poor have become poorer. On the other hand, in countries like the United States many consumer items are available to all class levels. Members of the middle class can purchase high-end items, like designer fashions and innovative technology, that in other countries are only available to the elite. Many members of the working class save up for these extravagant purchases to perpetuate the idea that their not suffering from the recession or their situation is not as bad as others.

I'm grateful that i live in a society that enables social mobility. It's just unfortunate that in order to gain respect we must look the part of who society deems worthy of respect. We all deserve respect, regardless of our economic class, politial alignment, race or gender.

Adults forget teenage troubles.

High school: the place many teenagers embark on their journey to introspection. It's the place young girls and boys alike strive to grasp their identity. They decide which path they aim to take and try to add and subtract characters to make the experience as memorable as possible. I think the biggest issue among high-schoolers in this day and age is the lack of self that plagues these young minds. Because teenage years are the years in between adulthood and adolescence -the awkward years- the temptations of inferiority creep into the realms of the subconscious easier and begin to eat away at the young wild soul.

Everyone searches for something to belong to. They search for some avenue of power or pedestal of purpose. In an effort to fit in, many teenagers, girls especially, lose the true nature of their character. They abandon the morality that their parents have instilled in them to better fit into the mold our superficial society has created for them. Girls that were once pure and genuine become catty and scandalous. Girls that were once mentally weak,  or spiritually unstable become wild, hype, and belligerent. All in an effort to fit in. The issue is the crowd they imitate are transitioning just like them. They don't have it all together either.

High school: where the blind lead the blind.

Men, calm down. Women, drop the bats.

Many of you may not know that the month of October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Because this subject matter seems to be a bit taboo in our society, it is not widely discussed. Unfortunately, in the grim event that an individual finds themselves in this sort of situation, lack of education may compel them to stay and not get the help they so desperately need.

Needless to say, domestic violence is an unacceptable deviant behavior. It is an act that is in no form encouraged by society. It is a mechanism of control, that one individual uses to empower them self or bolster their minuscule ego. The abuse is not limited to the confines of marriage, monogamous relationships, heterosexual relationships, or relationships in general. Methods of domestic violence include but are not limited to: verbal abuse, isolation, physical harm in the form of battery, sexual assault, stalking, and intimidation. It can happen all the time or once in a while, but regardless, every human being has the right to peace and safety. I must admit that some of these oppressors have also been hurt by this world, but I do not believe that brokenness gives anyone the right to rob someone of their freedom. The detriments, psychologically, that victims of domestic violence are condemned to bear are unimaginable.

Many women like to believe that domestic violence is so extreme that the odds of it happening to them are slim. I happened to be one of these women, before I did the research. I use to watch documentaries on Ike and Tina, and scoff at the television. I walked around with the assumption that my family and I would never allow me to be brutalized for the sake of love and pride. Anyone walking around with this conviction is wrong and should be enlightened by the truth that lies in statistics. Let's look at the facts shall we. Any woman of any color, background, economic class, and education level can be victimized. More than 4.8 MILLION intimate-partner related physical assaults and rapes occur each year. One third of all women killed in the United States are murdered by their significant other. You must admit these are some startling statistics that contradict the misconception that domestic violence is a once-in-a-blue-moon occurance.

I set out to discover why these numbers are so high, and why this is issue isn't widely publicized, except for of course the occasional Lifetime and Oxygen movies. In my investigation, I discovered outstanding facts and statistics. I hate to make this into a research paper, but honestly there is no class that stops to discuss domestic violence. (Except AICE Sociology, taught by the GREAT MS. BASI ;) Domestic violence is present in every community and group. There is at least one person in every classroom that has witnessed or suffered from some form of abuse within their home. Although young women, minorities, and low-income women are vastly more likely to be targets of domestic violence, anyone can be a victim.

I was once told that it is not the responsibility of an outsider to get involved in another couple's disputes. My poor peer insinuated that some people deserve to be hit, depending on the situation. Want to know what I told him? I politely told him, like only I would, to kindly, "GET OUT OF HERE!" No one, and I do mean no one, deserves to be mistreated in anyway. The only person responsible for abuse is the abuser. I was even told once that women who stay in abusive relationships were stupid, downright dumb. Why? Well she believed that people who stay in relationships that become violent choose to be beaten and raped or whatever else. She got the same response as the idiot who spoke before her. According to the United States Department of Justice, the most dangerous period for a woman in a violent relationship occurs after escape attempts. Moreover, it is the tendency of most abusers to isolate the victim from their friends and family. We must also consider how many people say things like, "A woman getting hit deserves it for being a coward and not just leaving" or "We should just stay out of it, they know what they're doing." Ignorance is contagious. Some women have nowhere to go. Some women are so blinded by love or become complacent and stay for the familiarity of the situation. They once loved the person, right? Inferiority complexes are also the leading psychological issues in abused women. Now, I like to think that if faced with a violent relationship,  I'd, like J. LO in Enough, fight back. I might even go the Madea route and play "Grit Ball" but I can say a lot of things, being as though I'm not being abused.

What about the kids? Well children who have witnessed domestic violence in the household are more likely to   suffer from post traumatic stress disorder, nightmares, and bed-wetting. They also have a hire chance of contracting the flu, developing certain allergies, and suffering from serious headaches. Girls in this situation have a higher chance of being victims, whereas boys have a higher chance of being oppressors. Think about the kids, our future. Nearly 50% of the men who abuse their wives also abuse their children.

I think the saddest thing I found, however, is the fact that domestic violence among same-sex couples are prevalent yet the research is not being funded on a national scale due in part to lack of awareness. In addition, these victims have less shelters and places of refuge. Once again our selfish society ostracizes the gays. Men are also disregarded.

Victims, understand that you do have options. Understand that it is not your fault. Remember, you can and you should leave, especially if there are kids involved. You can call the police, ask for help, get a personal protection order, or look to family and friends, if you have any. The key to a safe escape is strength, courage, and careful planning. Anyone who witnesses the abuse of another and does nothing about it is just as guilty, if not more guilty than the villainous offender. It is your moral obligation to help your fellow man.

Anyone who is suffering from abuse call : 1800-799-SAFE (7233) but be safe, try a pay phone.

As I read and I watched, I wondered what would Garfinkel do? Domestic violence does defy several social norms. I came to the conclusion that abuse is one breaching experiment he would not have approved of.

16 and Growing. Teen Student.

Let me start by getting the cliche teen pregnancy television show references out of the way. Teen Mom is a clear example of how the media manipulates the lives of naive individuals to make a profit, disregarding the detrimental effects these programs seem to have on the youth they brainwash. 16 and pregnant is yet another example of how quickly our generation will sell themselves to the corporate pimps of our world only to be used and abused, all for the thirst of fame. Now MTV has made  several statements along the lines of "These shows have only been implemented to spotlight the hardships of teen mothers." My answer to that is "Get out of here!" The grossing profits that these shows earn seem to only profit the men in suits up at headquarters. The show is clearly scripted, compelling the starring characters to hype up their lives to acquire more screen time. The shows earnings are not being distributed evenly, which becomes seemingly obvious once a viewer notices that these poor children are still struggling to pay  bills and other expenses after more than four seasons of the show. In my opinion, these shows are designed with the sole purpose of entertainment. I believe that's absolutely pitiful and unacceptable. By one signature these young women have become ostracized, and transformed into the court jests of society. To be fair though, we must look at the facts. The number of pregnant teens in the United States are significantly higher than other countries including underdeveloped nations. ONE THIRD OF ALL GIRLS IN THE UNITED STATES GET PREGNANT BEFORE TWENTY (teenpregnancy.com) *gasp  However, it would be biased to not inform you that there has been a substantial decline in these numbers, according to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention. (Babies aren't diseases so I'm not sure why this organization did the study, but hey facts are facts.) This may be due to the ignominy associated with having a child out of wedlock at such an early age. The inevitable economic stress, that having a baby provides, may also be a factor.Granted, abortion rates are also inclining, but on a minute level. Although these shows are absolutely ridiculous, this research leads me to believe that teens are watching and learning from these broken families. More and more teens are waiting to have sex, and those who are making the choice to engage in intercourse  are being more careful. Kids are actually pursuing their dreams and then starting families.  By no means am I insinuating that reality tv is a substitute for sexual education. However, they can be a useful conversational starter in American households. Peer pressure, lack of self, declines in self esteem, and inferiority complexes are among the few things plaguing the minds of teenagers and causing them to make rash decisions. It's about time parents and children alike stop ignoring the giant elephants in the room and start speaking up about these societal demons. Many of you maybe saying to yourself, "What's your point? Do you agree with these shows or don't you?" My response is that I don't support the unfair representation of young women, especially in a context where other children can misconstrue the critical issues. The lack of reality in these programs may lead some individuals to make inaccurate deductions about life as a teen mom.   If even one girl turns off the tv and thinks to themselves "If I was to get pregnant, I'd be alright. I might even be able to get a television show just like Maci or maybe my boyfriend will realize he loves me that much more and marry me.", something is wrong. However, I must admit that we've come a long way from the 17th century, a time where we would kill a women for giving birth without a husband. Plus, on a lighter note, I'd much rather watch 16 and Pregnant than 16 and Homeless. 

Ladies & Gentlemen ... Leigh Sade .

Ok, I would first like to thank.. Just kidding. I'm no celebrity but I still think you should give my blog a chance. Please. *crickets. No really, I need at least five comments. It's a grade. 


Anyways, this is my second attempt at blogging. My biggest hindrance, the first time, was the fact that I am nearly technologically incompetent. I am among the fleeting population of advocates for the old scribe practice of pen and paper notation.  Needless to say, I am not the average American teenager. I have devoted my life to writing, and I aim to make a career out of it. I hope to study Media & Mass Communications and pursue journalism specifically. As an adamant optimist, bold personality, and aspiring poet, I celebrate the differences of all individuals. I am inspired by the great innovators of history and on a local level all those with the ability to dramatically change their circumstances in order to progress. Harold Garfinkel, a sociologist I stumbled upon during an assignment, also aspired to illuminate those creative differences. Garfinkel was a man who believed that society is a myth and that normality, much like beauty, lies in the eyes of the beholder. I was eventually sold on his breaching experiments, practices created with the intent of defying a social norm. I like to think of my life as an on-going breaching experiment. Will you join me as I blatantly ignore social norms, fight stereotypes, and campaign for all that is unique? I hope so, but hurry up, the plane to Leigh'sWorld is leaving soon. All aboard!