Hi, My name is Gabbie, and I'm insecure.

To say the least, my summer did not turn out how I expected it to. In my mind, I drafted this undeniably amazing Summer bucket list ( all the things I wanted to do before Summer kicked the bucket). Reality seems to have taken my list, and burned it, because I have spent my "104 days of summer vacation"  in my house, roaming around the realms of monotony. I've listened to the same songs. I've stared at the same tv, watching the same episodes, of the same shows. I'm on the brink of insanity. The peak of my day would have to be my daily phone calls. Yes, I am officially that lunatic that lives vicariously, through her friends. However, as I plummeted further and further into my sorrowful solitude, I decided to change my perspective. In my loneliness, I got to spend a lot of time with myself. I've recognized my problem areas, my strengths, my desires. This has enabled me to efficiently progress, as I help others do the same. I've really had the chance to get to know me, and through this intricate interaction, I have learned a lot about human nature. Perspective my friends is the most powerful tool in life.

Ladies and gentlemen, I will proceed to share with you a few of my revelations.
First, here's some context:

Problem Area Number One: I'm insecure.
Desire Number One: I want to be a leader.
Problem Area Number Two: I'm worried because leaders can't be insecure.
Strength Number One: I overthink every problem until I have found the solution, and if I can't, I cheat and google it.
 Strength Number Two: I give great advice to my friends.
Strength Number Three: I'm a great friend.
Problem Area Number Three: I am not my friend.
Desire Number Two: I want to be my friend.
Desire Number Three: I want to be more confident.


I decided that the source of my primary problem was insecurity. To defeat the enemy, you must know the enemy. In the past few weeks, I decided to declare war on insecurity.

Through my research, I learned that Insecurity is actually a weak villain. It doesn't have magical powers at all. It's just deceptive. It tricks you into fighting yourself. See, insecurity gets you to believe that you would be happier being someone else, whether that person is literally someone else, or a different version of yourself (an older you or a younger you) I've come to know that, that's a lie. You wouldn't be happier being Mary, because Mary has her own issues, and it would be futile to deal with Mary's issues because you would learn from them only what Mary needs to know. Mary's issues wouldn't help you become stronger, plus Mary's likes and passions would feel foreign to you, and you would eventually grow tired in your attempt to suppress all your desires. You sure as heck wouldn't be happier being your former self, no matter how great your past was, because even back then you had problems. You lacked the knowledge, insight, and wisdom to avoid the mistakes you made back then. Moreover,  if you were happier back then, it's because you're not making the decision to be happy now. You're going to be evicted out of today whether you want to be or not. Moreover, you also wouldn't be happier as You 2.0 because if you're waiting to be happy, you never will be. See, happiness is a decision. Your circumstances can only impact roughly 10% of your happiness. The other 90% is a result of your own attitude, logic, and behavior. (I got the statistic from this tv church broadcast I was watching with my mom)

I always tell my friends that perspective is the most important weapon you have in this world. If you strengthen your mind's eye, and find new ways to love, you will be unstoppable. However, I failed to apply my motto to my situation, because I wasn't being a good friend to me.

See, weapons are used to fight, to protect. If you want to protect yourself, your self esteem, you really have to fight to protect your happiness. I used to try to protect myself, and my happiness, by putting other people down, whether out loud, or in my head, but that doesn't help you rise at all. All you have to do is change your perspective. Your vision determines your luminescence. I can't lie. Shifting your perspective is by no means easy all the time. If you need some visual assistance, try counting your blessings, use your imagination, empathize, and I guarantee you, your perspective will change immediately.

We have to remember to take it one step further. We can't just limit ourselves to thought. Like President Thomas Edison  said,"Vision without execution is hallucination." Thought without action is just a wish restrained. Pass it on. Make it relevant. If you've grown from your perspective shift, help someone else, and make sure that your actions illustrate your growth.

Life is all about progression. If you have a problem, find the solution. If you're feeling down, try to rise. If you're up, help someone else. Always, keep it moving.

Trickiest part is getting up after backsliding. I can feel all this optimistic enlightenment today, and tomorrow wake up feeling like I got hit in the face with a bag of nickels. That's why it's important to have good friends, and to be a good friend to yourself. Forgive yourself. Encourage yourself. Don't play the blame game.  Insecurity is an oppressor that you can easily liberate yourself from, once he is recognized, and happiness is a decision that you have the volition to make.

Keep it moving.